#but i'm a bit better now dw
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so the plot holes... were just plot holes? the unexplained things were just... unexplained things?
#I'm. a bit confused#don't get me wrong i like the finale and it was very sad and sweet#but like...#hm....#i thought we were gonna get more answers yk?#like why did Ruby make it snow#or why some things didn't add up#why so much fourth wall breaking#why those master references and such#so like#either next season clears it up with the whole mrs flood thing#or i will never trust RTD ever again#ngl#because that ending felt... sloppy? kinda?#also absolutely did not like all the Susan build up and then nothing#yes it was a trap from Sutekh but still#idk guys. idk how to feel tbh#I'll probably rewatch the whole season sometime later now that it's complete and make up my mind better#but as of now#I'm not. convinced#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#dw spoilers#dw s14#doctor who series 14#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#empire of death#doctor who empire of death#doctor who s14
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what if i shrank to the size of a pea and you found me in the armchair. would you reach out a cupped hand so I could climb into it. would you boop my forehead carefully with a fingertip. would you put on a shirt with a breast pocket so you could carry me around and i could see everything you see, but also hide in your pocket when i've seen enough. well. would you??
#mentally i'm a little bit not okay right now#but dw i'll be better soon#the pea in the armchair thing is inspired by that one poem by louise bourgeois btw#goes like this:#''A man and a woman lived together.#On one evening he did not come back from work#and she waited.#She kept on waiting and she grew littler and littler.#Later a neighbor stopped by out of friendship and there he found her in the armchair the size of a pea.''
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The world feels like dragon age. Combat looks snappy and fun. The voices are beautiful. The music sounds amazing. Closeup facial animation looks a lil fucky. Solas and Rook and Harding and Neve look beautiful. Why is Varric's hair black. I'm very intrigued about the PCs origin. Idk but after the gameplay reveal it really feels like coming home to Thedas
#dragon age#dav#dav spoilers#? is that necessary#feeling very yippee rn!! i don't have any expectations or anything i'm just yippee my video game!! at this early stage#i hated dai combat it was so slow and boring!!! high hopes for this but not too high#its maybe like da2 crossed with ffxvi. i hope bc i love combat in those games (guy who usually hates combat)#also movement looks nice too? dai felt a bit slow with walking and movement too#hoped to see dorian and/or maevaris but thats ok it was just a dream of mine#like varric has a grey streak in black hair? hes strawberry blonde you bastards#btw why is youtube livechat full of the most boring negative miserable people on the planet. i turned it off tho dw#ok I'm done <3 i'm better now
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hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .
#just blahs#not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3#just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone#and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that#without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended#bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself#gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me#and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok#this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself#aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong#and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week#jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person#and i know that they know i didnt mean it#and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of#and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person#i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok#its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw
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rewatching ben whishaw's richard ii and yea i think the biggest difference between his and the rsc version is that he plays richard's flippancy/disregard for other people's lives completely straight and in a kind of sinister way while david plays it for humor
#shoutout to the scene with dt's richard and gaunt because it's so FUCKING funny dwhgjkflkjwjlw#it's like that one twelve scene in dw where he's reading clara's flashcards for social interaction#and he's like 'uh i'm sorry for the death of your friend slash family member slash pet'. Same energy#ricky 2#in terms of 'what's more fun for me to watch' i like david better but both are v good ways to play the character imo#one emphasizes the dislikability and the other emphasizes the hubris#although i don't think playing richard's character for humor would work as well without an audience to bounce it off of#one of the weakest parts of david's 2009 film hamlet is that (now that i've listened to an audio clip of the stage recording)#the hamlet w rosencrantz/guildenstern bit in act 2 scene 2 is filled with too much dead air where the live audience would normally laugh#and like hamlet Is meant to be more Funny as a play in a way richard ii is not so it's not like. dealbreaking or anything#but i am so grateful that the rsc richard ii is a stage recording rather than. made for tv bc i can imagine a world#where tv dt richard ii would have a bunch of scenes like the hamlet/ros/guil scene where it would drag more than it needed to#so like while i do slightly prefer the rsc version both versions are ultimately best suited to their respective mediums#also rory kinnear plays henry a lot more human and sympathetic than nigel lindsay does#which means that while he is much much much more entertaining to watch#i do feel like the wider theme of the fragility and sheer ridiculousness of the monarchy as a concept comes thru better in the rsc version#as well as (perhaps accidentally..) satirizing the english nationalistic sentiment expressed by a bunch of the characters#but then again i don't think that's what hollow crown was shooting for they wanted to do a grounded drama and they did a grounded drama
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I have so many ideas for like. harnesses and gear and shit that I want to make but I do not have Time to start new projects I am Moving
#dw the cat paw mesh is completely done I'm literally just doing the feline-skin-matched texture overlays which I can just do in bits#it's why I'm not doing colormatched hair swatches right away though#also I want to remake the original d-ring collar because I'm just kinda better at this now
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very happy to be a little over two months on T but boi despite no changes the hormonal mess it's causing has been taking me on a RIDE and next time is my first shot by myself i totally expect to either chicken out or suck it up and feel sick af afterwards
#beelio talks#two months no changes AT ALL except the one IYKYK#i've sure had bad nausea and stomach aches and palpitations all of which are 99.9% likely to be because of hormonal mess-induced stress#because it makes PMS and physical anxiety symptoms worse sdkjkln even though i'd never had palpitations before. CAN I CATCH A BREAK#palpitations actually got MUCH better after my dose was increased though. for whatever reason. hormones work in mysterious ways#dw i got my heart checked today to be safe#and it's all normal bike test and EKG and echography (boi that was weird to look at) and all#still likely doing a 24 hours test in a couple of months but yeah the four doctors and nurses who looked at me were not concerned at all#despite my heart rate being a bit too high#but that was likely the usual appointment stress and influenced by the bike test#i'm home now and it's back to my usual 70s-80s instead of the 115 it was back there lol#ANYWAYS#love being on T. hate the adjustment period.#i don't expect visible changes so fast btw! but when i say no changes i mean i also don't have the libido/hunger/warmth increase etc.#like if it wasn't for the one thing i'd think it doesn't work hahaha#trans tag
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This holiday is less relaxing than expected, guess who's just fainted? Me
Also, my brother was sent off in search of water and sugar and he bought ONE KILOGRAM of sugar (I was carrying some in my purse btw)
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I'm praying my last ask was actually on anon. If not uh..ignore it. Sorry. Hope I didn't make you uncomfortable!!!! ✨
If it was signed with the sparkles, dw, it was anon. Also i cannot imagine the absolute heart attack i'd be getting rn if i were in your place and didn't know that sorry <3
#i just wanted to keep it in my inbox a bit longer💞#dw ab making me feel uncomfortable - i find it endearing and cute#i very rarely (never? jury's still out) feel romantic emotions#but a bonus with me is that i don't really feel uncomfortable/awkward with people who develop crushes on me#bc i find it so adorable it just. makes them more endearing to me#tho it becomes a problem sometimes. sorry to all the men i treated as toys in the past i'm doing better now </3#asks
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ahh i'm so tired sorry i haven't been really active lately but i promise i'll fix all these stuff up n be well for the new year soon
#🌙.vents#i'll just ramble for a but ig. i can't.. let myself go to anyone at all for stuff like this but it hurts more when i keep it all to myself#oh wait good morning i guess i got around 9 hours of sleep huh#lovely going to sleep n waking up w tears in my eyes yeah absolutely Great#the future i want is. unrealistic i suppose#god i hate being pessimistic i prefer holding unto hope n i truly know better than all these burdens but#it hurts. all this pressure n then it just feels so lonely. i don't know if i belong in this world#every now n then when i just think of.. stuff my heart feels like it's being sharply stabbed with cold n then suffocated a bit#n then i'm crying even more as the whole emotion overwhelms me everywhere#but i suppose it's better this way. i'll hide this part of myself from the rest of the world n heal on my own#perhaps it's stupid of me to think i could do that on my own but i'm just so tired i might as well do it on my own now#it feels like everything is falling apart. wishes dreams hopes. every word forgotten#n.. i know it's not entirely this way but fuck it feels like it's all my fault for messing everything up#my mind is in a dilemma n it's like i'm just constantly fighting w myself inside#it's so draining#but i have a reality to face so i'll just. i'm sorry i'll bury it#i'm sorry to the words i used to write to myself then. i don't want to let them go but i suppose they were too 'naive' for this world#i don't have anymore energy to reach out. ffs i just want to be better n do better but i'm so tired#i don't want to forsake my younger self but.. i'm sorry maybe i'll just live out all this in my head instead. as i used to do#i have a lot to do dw i'll get up n face them#it hurts. i don't want to hurt myself but i can't be productive like this n#the other better way is. not for someone like me yk i don'r have much friends i'm too shy but all of them have closer friends n#apollo deserves more my family deserves more than me i'm sorry i just want to be myself but maybe that's not needed at all in this world#i'm not enough so i might as well go along this path. i know it won't make stuff better but. it fucking hurts i'm sorry#that sounds so sinister without the rest of the context dw i'm not gna do anything too extreme but. i have to be well enough to live in this#world. yeah.#i'm. oh my god this hurts bcs i know better i really do but these thoughts just persist n it hurts so much. it hurts so much#i don't want to lose myself to these negative thoughts bcs i rlly know better but god it hurts it hurts#i'm afraid bcs if i.. hide properly or wtvr i know i can be good enough to. idk pretend cleanly that i'm fine n destroy all the progress#i've built. but i don't want to lose myself. i know better but i'm stuck in my head n it hurts so much i'm sorry
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Which Newsies are you most excited to see when you go watch the show? :) (hope you're feeling alright my beloved 🫂❤!!!)
Ough Mutie I love all of them🥺 But Crutchie, Elmer, Buttons and Finch are who I'm most looking forward to. Mike and Ike too, although I feel like they gonna be harder to pick out of the crowd when not played by identical twins (and I doubt they're gonna do the cool stunts the Guzmans did in the proshoot).
Also they're not newsies but I'm v looking forward to seeing the Delanceys, they're very interesting characters to me and I'm hoping their actors will have some thoughts as to Why They're Like That sdjkkdjs
#thank you for the ask!#and I'm doing a bit better now dw. Just had a frustrating convo earlier#newsies#newsies uk#asks
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tabula rasa; keep moving forward
I’ve made some friends on tinder so far; some want to play board games and some want to get in my pants. But I’m talking to this kid [21; obviously not a literal kid, but it feels like there’s over a decade between us] about his depression in how the public unconsciousness is poisoned. (Speaking of which, I need to get back to writing the smut I was drafting while drinking. The guy’s getting pegged while he talks about parasocial relationships being deliberate creations of class based society; used to alleviate the rising temper of the inevitable clashing mentalities prevalent among the public unconsciousness. Obviously I’m not gonna do it justice in any way in a tumblr post, so I’ll keep it top myself for now.)
And as all the thoughts raise through my head, agreeing with him on how neoliberialism’s schadenfreude is morally decrepit, I’m reminded about our discussion(s) about tabula rasa and what it means to be one’s authentic self. Yeah, sure, ALL the kinky shit we talked about was fun, but it was always the intellectual discussions that I’ve missed most. Sure I may have been the moody sarcastic asshole at time, but I was always sincere with my interest in discussions & our intertwined betterment; no matter the topic.
So I guess that’s another reason why I’m reminding myself to keep moving forward like I used to tell you. I’m finally replying to my new therapist. it shouldn’t have taken me this long, but I’m so exhausted that I’m just now getting around to it.
Why am I even writing this? You don’t read it, and it’s already inside my head. I guess it is good to get it out, even if it makes me feel psychotic (I should probably get my psychiatrist to up my anti-psychotic, shouldn’t I? ...I jest; moistly, er, I mean mostly.)
[This is where I’d insert the sound of an hour long groan that you can’t tell if it’s the byproduct of a bad pun or from something else I might say; I’m hyper-aware except for when I need it most after all.]
#the amount of thesis I could write with a bottle of cheap ass screw top rose; a little bit of adderall; and maybe a little weed... man I#really wish I had the mental capacity to go back to college; part of my interest in a state job is the free state school classes; gotta go#to FSU like I(we) said I(we) would; right? well hey if you ever need a couch to surf (or bed but I doubt you'd want that offer) in Tally#it'll always be available so long as I'm stuck in this hell hole of a transphobic state ...fuck me up the ass (or have your bf do it) I do#not know how much longer I can stand the thought of being here; my agoraphobia has been terrible and#my ''husband'' has only marginally gotten better at being verbally abusive; she has a lot of points but she attacks me so harshly that all#I can really do is dissociate ...jk I've gotten a LOT better at picking my battles and knowing how/when to respond; if you thought I was#good at listening back then; well Im#noticeably better#(I was gonna use some arbitrary metric value but I'd rather let my actions speak for theself; and its not liek you have any interest in my#actions or my thoughts ...you've yelled at me enough times about all that already ...honestly I would've rather you apologized for all that#instead of ''everything'' that happened in our relationship; guess what: I've never kept score rather a catalog of things I'd want to talk#over if the time ever presented itself; fuck it I need to go get some sleep; trying to decide what kind of nightcap I'm in the mood for now#that I've gotten better at kicking bad habits; I've been slowly working sicne my heavy relapse(s) in summer of '20; anyways allonsy! KMF!!!#I need to get caught up with DW now that they've apparently brought David Tennant back)#personal#keep moving forward#I need to stop this absurd obsession when I know it serves no healthy purpose
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─ callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck ੈ✩‧₊˚
✶ pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader
✶ synopsis: the aftermath of the argument with miguel.
✶ warnings: angst, hurt with comfort, occ miguel (for one scene only dw), shitty humour, one or two swear words, reader being slightly mean, mentions of death.
✶ notes: part two of "you're the sunflower" this part was originally 8k words long and i was like nope, so i had to cut it down, I'm sorry. I really hope this isn't bad ‼️
At first, you didn't quit the team.
After the blow-up with Miguel, you thought about leaving the team for good, but yet you decided to show up, hanging around for a bit before quickly leaving.
But slowly you stopped showing up altogether. The looks of pity were too much for you to handle, and frankly, you deserve an apology, you deserved better.
Every day was torture, and seeing Miguel only made it worse. No one thought this whole ordeal would go this far.
Everyone noticed the changes, you were more serious, and your usual sunshine self was gone at this point. Everyone noticed the day you stopped coming in.
You felt so lonely, sure, you had friends in your universe but yet, nothing felt the same. You sometimes wondered if they missed you or not.
It had only been a few weeks and yet it felt like months.
A part of you secretly hoped someone from the team would show up at your doorstep pleading for you to come back, but nothing.
"You'll get used to it eventually" You'd tell yourself.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
It had been two whole months since you left. Nothing felt the same without you.
"Does anyone else miss Sunflower?" Gwen said sadly. She missed your hugs, and your little girl talks with her, she missed everything about you.
"We all miss her, kid," Peter sighed. Without you, he had no one to talk to about Mayday.
"I hope she comes back soon," Miles said.
"I think she just wants space right now," Pavitr replied.
"This is all Miguel's fault y'know?" Hobie added bitterly, how dare Miguel take his friend away from him.
"Someone should talk to him, maybe if he apologizes, she'll come back." Miles was hopeful, he knew you'd come back eventually.
"Sure, kid. As if Miguel ever listens."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Miguel on the other hand was depressed.
He'd gotten used to your presence and it felt odd without you.
He felt horrible about yelling at you but he was scared. The thought of you dying terrified him, and his way of dealing with that wasn't the best.
He thought about apologizing many times, but he didn't know how to. The last thing he wanted was to cause more damage.
"You know a simple "sorry" could fix this all right?" Lyla said, breaking him out of his trance.
"It's not that easy, Lyla." He sounded so broken to his own ears.
"Well, you gotta try, Boss."
"Sunflower used to call me that."
"You're joking, right? Wow, you really are pathetic." Lyla snorted.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dude, you're in love with her. You are absolutely smitten."
"Lyla, that's enough-"
"No, you love her and that's why it's bothering you so much."
"I don't-"
"Nah, Lyla's right, you do love her." He turned around to see Jess standing in his office.
"Jess, not you too, and where did you come from?" Miguel groaned, he did not love you.
"The door…? Anyways, just try to fix things, the first step is you apologizing." Jess stated matter-of-factly.
Miguel thought about it for a minute, these last few weeks had been pure torture for him, Jess was right, the first step is apologizing.
"Fine, I'll do it first thing tomorrow, but I don't love her."
"Sure, whatever you say, man." Jess snickered.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
You got somewhat used to your new life. It was the same old plain routine every day. You tried to throw yourself into other things. Finding new hobbies, jobs, literally anything.
But eventually, it all started to feel okay.
Things were finally starting to look good for you.
You thought about the spider society way less and finally started living your life to the fullest.
You were moving on.
Crime fighting was easy today. You got to hang out with your friends and an old lady gave you a cheerio, which is something.
You swung around the city for a bit, enjoying the view and temporary peace.
Soon it was time for you to head back home. You climbed in through your bedroom window and quickly changed out of your suit, slipping into more comfortable clothing.
When you went downstairs to get some food, you weren't expecting to see Miguel O'Hara sitting on your couch.
"Holy shit, what are you doing here?" You scared him, because he jumped violently at the sound of your voice.
"I was here t-"
"Humiliate me further? Because I thought we were done with that." You felt bad saying that, but he deserved it.
"No, I'm here to apologize." He looked down, ashamed.
"It's a bit late for that, isn't it?" You chuckled bitterly, walking past him into the kitchen.
"Just listen to me for a second."
"I thought I was incapable of doing that." You muttered to yourself.
He got up and strode towards you, but he received no acknowledgment of his presence.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you in front of everyone; it was wrong and I shouldn't have acted so immaturely."
"Uh-huh, it's fine. You can leave now, the door's right there." You weren't buying his ridiculous apology. Even a five-year-old could do better.
"I understand you're mad, but please give me a chance." That was pretty much the last straw for you.
"I'm mad? You humiliated me in front of everyone! You made me feel like shit, you made me think I don't belong on the team! You're an asshole." You were screaming at him, taking out all the anger and sadness you felt in the past two months.
"I'm sorry." He sounded so small, so vulnerable, and for the second time in his life, he didn't know what to do.
"The best you can say is I'm sorry? At least give me a proper explanation." You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
"I'm in love with you." What?
"Right, if you're here to joke around and mock me just leave okay." You open up to him and he mocks you in return. Amazing.
"I'm being serious. I'm not mocking you or joking around, I'm in love with you. You want an explanation, so I'm giving you one." He breathed, looking at you hoping to receive some reaction. All he got was a small head tilt which he took as a sign to continue.
"The reason I yelled at you was because I was scared. I thought you were going to die and that terrified me, I've lost everything, and I don't want to lose you too. I didn't know how to handle it, so I lashed out. I truly am sorry, Sunflower." You froze trying to process everything, was he telling the truth?
"Lyla and Jess helped me realize my true feelings for you." He whispered.
When you said nothing for a few minutes he started to get scared, he was ready to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness if he had to.
"Can you… say something? Please?"
"I can't forgive you just yet." He would never admit to what happened next but he started sobbing. All this was too much, being vulnerable was an unknown feeling to him.
"Woah, wait hey, don't cry. Let me-" Before you could finish your sentence he fell to his knees, arms clutching your waist like a lifeline.
You were beyond confused, you thought this whole interaction was some sort of weird dream. Miguel O'Hara down on his knees, for you? Wow, two months ago you would've scoffed and rolled your eyes at that.
Nonetheless, you ran your fingers through his hair trying to soothe him.
"Miguel, honey, listen to me. Just because I'm not ready to forgive you now, doesn't mean I never will." His face was still squished against your midriff, and his breathing was slowly returning to normal, with a few sniffs here and there.
"So, you'll come back?" Seeing him in such a state broke your heart, you were still upset with him but were willing to give him a chance.
"Yes, I'll come back tomorrow." At that, he smiled properly for the first time in weeks.
He stayed there for a few moments, letting you comb through his hair gently, he would cherish this brief moment forever.
"I should get going then. The multiverse needs saving." He said hoarsely, standing up, he was slightly embarrassed by this side of him.
"Maybe use the door this time." He lightly chuckled at your statement, the warm feeling took over him once again.
Miguel did not want to leave, he wanted to stay here with you, but he knew that wasn't an option right now.
Before he left he had to get one last thing off his chest.
"Could you, not tel-"
"Tell anyone about this? Don't worry, this stays between us only."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Everyone was surprised to see you back the next day.
The second you walked in, everyone was all over you, hugging you and filling you in on everything you missed. It felt good to be back.
"I'm so happy you're back," Gwen whispered, hugging you tightly.
"I'm happy to be back, Gwendy. I missed you guys so much."
"Hey quit hogging Sunflower, it's my turn to hug her now." Miles huffed impatiently.
"Me next!" Pavitr bounced enthusiastically.
"Hey, not cool. I called dibs, man." Hobie groaned.
"Hey, Sunflower, I have some new pictures of Mayday to show you." Everyone was so excited to see you again, it was chaotic, but it felt like home. They were your family.
Miguel watched the scene from afar with a smile, he was glad everything was okay now.
"So you fixed things up with her, huh?" Jess said, popping up behind him, once again taking him by surprise.
"¡Ay, coño! Jess, stop doing that."
"Sorry, not my fault you don't have a spidy sense." Jess hummed. "So, how did you get her to forgive you?"
"I have my ways."
"You got down on your knees and begged her, didn't you?"
"How did you know?" Miguel whisper-yelled. That was supposed to be a secret.
"I have my ways." Jess winked.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
In a few weeks, everything was back to normal, you were back to your old self again.
Except for the fact that you and Miguel were now closer than ever. That was new.
You were always by his side, sticking close to him and he felt comfortable around you, always relaxed in your presence.
He wasn't sure if you forgave him just yet, but he was willing to wait for as long as you needed.
He did small things to show you he cared, sometimes it was bringing you coffee, other times it was giving you your favorite flowers.
You knew he was sorry, and in your heart, you forgave him a long time back.
So, you finally decided to tell him.
You guys were in his office having lunch, he didn't like to eat out in the cafeteria. You both would usually sit in silence enjoying each other's company.
"Hey, Miguel."
"Hm?"
"I forgive you."
He raised his eyebrows in confusion taking a moment to realise what you meant. When he finally got it, his eyes widened almost comically.
"Oh, you do?" He was trying to hide his smile but failed horribly.
"I forgave you a long time back, but I just… needed some time." You nodded.
"I understand that. Thank you for giving me another chance."
"Actually, to forgive you fully, I want one thing from you." You declared, confidently.
"I'll do anything, Sunflower." He'd indeed do anything for you.
"I want you to go out on a date with me."
His brain stopped working. You were asking him out on a date.
"Miguel? Is that a yes or no?" You grew nervous at his lack of response. Did you cross boundaries? You thought he liked you.
"I would love to." You quickly beamed at his response, after months of waiting it was finally happening.
"So, how about tomorrow, at 7?" You giggled.
"Sounds perfect." He sighed, softly smiling.
He couldn't wait for tomorrow.
#📂 ‧₊˚ my works .ᐟ#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#spiderman across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#spiderman atsv#spiderman x reader#spiderman#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#oscar isaac x reader#oscar isaac#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara angst
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My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.
Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.
Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.
Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.
So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.
We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.
Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry
this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)
the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.
Thin meat
Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,
Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part
The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style
As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.
Mustard -> jelly
He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.
Prep:
We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.
The watermelon
Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.
Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.
bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.
Salsa bad style
chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.
Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.
Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.
Putting it together
lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.
Slather in jam
Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,
spoon the salsa onto that
Melon
Another layer of salsa
another layer of thin meat
Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.
Brush with egg wash and more parsley
Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.
watermelington :)
I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.
anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.
#you can substitute tuna/salmon for beef in anything that isnt like. getting mixed.#so whole steaks and .... its basically just whole steaks. I guess substitute isnt the right word#You can fuck up a salmon or tuna cut by cooking it like beef instead of cooking it like fish
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abby drabbles for vday <3
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a/n; hey, all, happy valentine’s :) i was originally gonna have a fic for this but i was only able to do a few drabbles today &&& i don’t like any of them but it’s fine. also, woeeefully i have carpal tunnel, so with that and me needing to focus more on speaking out on palestine, fics will be more inconsistent (dw btw i am very much fine, just need to rest my hands <3 [which i obv did not do when i wrote all of these so quickly!])
♡ INCLUDES: sub!cam girl!abby bench pressing w/a vibe between her legs, dom!rival prosecutor!abby fucking you in her office, sub!football abby x dom!nerdy!reader
P.S.; please keep in mind that palestine is very much still bleeding. please look at the below links to learn of ways that you can help the people in gaza, and how you can learn more about this ongoing issue overall. please don't stay in the dark about this: like each post, reblog them, etc. if you like my work, then i am asking, demanding you to take the side that i'm on. free 🇵🇸, always.
LINKS: ways you can help | 🇵🇸 masterpost | MORE ways you can help I places to boycott, and families you can help escape | learn more
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a/n; ib by this post! <3
♡ imagine cam girl!abby, 185 pound barbell in her veiny hands as she pumps the load up and down, muscles flexing under the pressure. her face is red, body slick with sweat as her figure caves. you’re looking at her from the end of the bench, poised between her legs as you watch her workout. you crank the setting of the vibrator up for a third time, feeling your own heat build up as you listen to her whine and whimper. “come on, baby. just a few more reps for me, you got it,” you coo, knowing how close she is, hands weakening as the pleasure bubbling up in her core battles to take control. her filming camera’s in your hands, the one she used to go live and make videos with on a daily basis. you pan it to the wet spot that’s visible on her gym shorts, the smirk on your lips widening as the view nearly makes you drool. “look at her. so pretty like this, such a desperate girl,” you whisper more to yourself than to abby, earning a whorish whine from her lips as she pushes the bar above her head again and again. “mmm, s’that feel good, baby?” you coo as you bring a finger up to rub her over her soaked bottoms. abby’s face scrunches as she throws you a bit of an attitude. “y- you know it does,” she nearly snapped at you, and you can’t help but laugh. “hear that? she’s getting bratty with me,” you say, making sure to zoom in on her shaking legs as you give her thigh a small slap, earning a yelp from abby. you know full well her fans are going to go wild for this video, perhaps even more than you. when abby finishes her reps, body too weak to go on, you prop the camera up beside yourselves and place your hands on the sides of abby’s thighs. “good girl. did so well for me, didn’t you?” you ask, the only other noise being the buzzing of the vibe and the sound of abby’s little whimpers. “y- yes, ma’am, i did. n- now please let me cum,” she begs, and you feel merciful. you crank the vibe to the highest setting, and apply more pressure to her pussy with your fingers. you thumb her clit in circles, and watch as abby’s abdomen begins to tense. you push her shorts out of the way for better access, and remove the vibe to pump your index and ring into her soaked pussy, fingering her like a fucking pro. “f- fuck, so close, please, don’t stop,” she whines, and it’s not long before you’ve got the cam girl drenching your fingers in her cum, hips bucking for both you and the camera as it captures every little second <3
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♡ imagine rival prosecutor!abby, who you just won a huge case to, grabbing you by the wrist the second she could, and yanking you into her office. she was bending you over her desk at a rapid speed like she had so many times in the past, forcing you to take the seven inch strap that’s considerably a part of her at this point. “fucking whore. always fucking up my cases. let me show you how that, fuck,” she says as she thrust into you, deep, “fucking feels.” you only get to feel her when you make her lose a case, being the only way she can properly get her anger out. sometimes, you almost want to lose your cases on purpose. “well, maybe you should do your job better,” you challenge her, and, god, she does not like that. she grabs you by the neck as she pounds into you from behind, thick fingers digging marks into your skin. “don’t talk to me like that,” abby remarks as she pushes herself as deep inside you as she can possibly go. she’s so down and dirty with you, using your body like a toy, then discarding you until the next time she loses a case. “f- fuck, a- abby,” she’s got you stuttering soon enough, brain foggy with your own arousal. abby quickens her pace the second she can feel you getting closer to your high, chuckling. “yeah, you like that, huh? get so cockdrunk off this dick every time,” abby grunted. when your moans get too loud to the point where she thinks you’ll make the whole office hear, her large hand covers your lips, muffling those sweet, little noises. “shhh, shhh, baby. you’re my whore, mine alone. don’t want anyone else to hear those cute moans of yours,” she teases. soon enough, she’s got you soaking her cock in your cum, a whiny mewl of her name muffled by the hold she has on your lips. once you’re finished, she very briefly cleaned you up. but then, once she was done, negligence. “abby—“ you begin, ready to beg her for a little more of her attention. but she cuts you short. “none of that. you know this, sweetheart. i’ll fuck you when i lose.”
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a/n; very much inspired by this :3
♡ imagine sub!football!abby (x nerdy!reader) winning the last game of her season. there’s an after party, of course there is, but the buff girl who’s dominant in every aspect of her life, almost, can’t resist spending some time with her girlfriend first. “yeah, honey. played so well for me, didn’t you?” you coo as abby grinds her pussy desperately into your body, your hands digging into her hips. abby’s gorgeous nipples are bouncing up and down before you, perfect, and you make sure to take one of them into your mouth whenever one’s close enough to your face. “mmm, f- fuck, i did, baby, i did,” she moans, voice needy as she thrusts her naked body into your own. the friction she feels from the denim material of your jeans drives her crazy, rubbing up on her clit in the best way possible. your glasses fog up each time you pull her down for a sloppy, wet kiss, tongue dancing with hers as she grinds her pussy into you, desperate. “such a good girl. that’s it, reward yourself, baby,” you encourage her as she goes on, rutting herself into you. she moans as your pants brush up on her clit, burying her face into your neck to bite it, stifling the whiny moans falling from her lips. your hands grab her ass, gripping it as she pushes herself against you as hard as she could. “f- fuck, i love you so much, love you so much,” abby lets out in a whiny moan, easily making you smile. when you’ve got her on the brink, you take one of her breasts into your mouth, tongue swirling skillfully around her nipple. you give her a few small slaps on the ass as she chases her high, cumming all over your jeans in the end. you smile as you cup her reddened cheek, kissing the tip of her nose as she panted out heavily above you. “there’s my football star.”
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#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson smut#abby anderson fan fiction#tlou smut#tlou2 smut#abby anderson x female reader#abby anderson fic#abby anderson imagine#tlou abby#abby tlou#abby anderson x reader smut#abby anderson tlou2#tlou abby x reader#ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ kit’s works
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SUMMER IS FOR FALLING IN LOVE ; CS55
carlos sainz x fem!reader
. . . finding the best way to maximize work and play for the summer break, carlos spends his time in a country club meeting his summer fling
amgf this is my first post in my old blog and i was so proud of this when i thought about it and i really liked the execution of the trilogy
next: situations
carlossainz55
liked by charles_leclerc and 1,583,957 others
carlossainz55 D-14
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user1 what a busy day for carlos
user2 someone is excited for the summer break
landonorris just how many activities did you do mate?
carlossainz55 not enough
user3 you can see how much has he been looking forward for this break
user4 TRUE!!! man left in the early morning and had time to play golf and yacht
user5 i mean, with how the season is going i too would look forward for a break
user6 well he deserves to enjoy the break
charles_leclerc when did you exactly leave? i woke up and they said you left
carlossainz55 left at 4am i think... slept on the way in the plane
charles_leclerc you're busy busy huh, enjoy mate
carlossainz55 you too, don't miss me too much
charles_leclerc now why would you say that 🙄
yourinstagram uploaded a new story
[this country club has some good amenities]
friend1 replied to your story
ONGMG who is this bestie????
are you actually getting laid rN? i'm proud 😃
just country club eye candy...
wow, NGL I'M THIS 🤏 much jealous
friend2 replied to your story
!!!!!!!
????
stay safe, get laid 🤘🤘🤘
SHUT UP 😭
dw i will babes, see you soonest
carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 D-6
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charles_leclerc enjoying the break i see 🙈
carlossainz55 i am very much enjoying my break
charles_leclerc seems like you're enjoying a bit too much, don't forget to come back next week
carlossainz55 you miss me don't you?
charles_leclerc 🙊
user7 who is that in the background 😃
user8 hmm carlos with a mystery woman
user9 what is going on? CARLOS SOFT LAUNCHING???
user10 I TOO WANT TO spend summer break with carlos sainz BUT WE ALL CAN'T HAVE THAT CAN WE??????
landonorris i see
carlossainz55 shut up boy
user11 see what?? WHAT SRE WE SEEING LANDO?
landonorris i didn't say anything
carlossainz55 you're implying something, shut up
carlossainz55 uploaded a new story
[back and better than ever]
charles_leclerc replied to your story
how are you already back at maranello?
i needed to get away
dang
got too attached?
yeah, not her though
WHAT?? what did you say?
what's there to say?
i just left
landonorris replied to your story
you're back early
why'd you leave?
not you too
you clearly like her, why are you avoiding it
yeah i like her, but that's that it's was a summer fling
uh huh, a "summer fling"
good luck avoiding your feelings
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